Showing posts with label Sardarji Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sardarji Jokes. Show all posts

Sardarji Rocks....


Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay" 


Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr YOU" !!. 


Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr: Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Sardar: We lost the duplicate key!!


Why Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road???
Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office.... 


Son: papa, 4+3 kithne hai?
Sardar: ullu ke patthe gadhe idiot naalaayak besharam tujhe kuch nahi aathaa? Jaa andhar se CALCULATOR le ke Aa.. 
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Sardar Jee Jokes

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na mar jaun"

Do u know What Surdarji will do after taking Xerox ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes!!

Do u know what surdarji will do if he wants a white paper ? (he already has one and he wants one more..) He takes a Xerox of the white paper!!!

Sardar was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When Sardar returned, he shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

Sardar nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?"

"No, from skipping."

A sardar sees lota guys running on the highway.
Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are
doing.
The bystander : Marathon race chal rahi hai
Sardar : Usse kya milega ?
Bystander : Jeetne wale to prize milega
Sardar : To baki log kyo bhag rahe hai ?

A well dressed man was having a dinner in "Kake Da Hotel". After he had finished his dinner, he started to wipe his hands with the table cloth. The owner saw him and got real angry and asked, "Have you had dinner in some nice hotel before?"

Man: "Ya!" "I had dinner once in Ashoka Hotel."
Owner: "There also, you wiped your hands with table and chair?"
Man: "Yes, I did."
Owner: "Nobody told you anything!"
Man: "They kicked me and said 'agar ase hi karna hai to kisi Kake Da Hotel mae jake khana khaa'.
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Sardarjee Jokes

White Lines

A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway.
On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.
Then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day, he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."

 30000 kms 

A sardar wanted to sell his old battered Maruti car which had done more than 100,000 kms. Since no body was inclined to buy it, he approached his friend to help him dispose it off. The friend advised him to have the mileage meter reading reduced to around 30,000 kms so that he could tell the prospective customer that it has been used sparingly. The sardar liked the idea. A few weeks later the same friend met him and enquired whether he was able to dispose off his car. The sardar replied, "Are you mad? Who sells a car 
which has done only 30000 kms! 

Rechecking Answers 

A Sardarjee reported for his University final examination which consists of  "yes/no" type questions. he takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration 
takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. 
The moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half and hour. But, I am rechecking my answers 

Sardarji's Interview 

Sardarji went to an interview... 

Interviewer: Have u heard of "MIKE TYSON"?? 

Sardarji: Yes Sir. 

Interviewer: Can u tell me his father's name?? 

Sardarji thought for a while & replied : "MIKE TIE" !! 

Once a Sardarji saw a boy who wore his cap in the back direction, thisdisturbed the sardarji and he also decided to wear his pagari in thebackward direction. 

While he was on his way to his office another Sardar saw him and asked "Sardar ji aa rahe ho ke jaa rahe ho"
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Sardar Jee Jokes

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr YOU" !!.

Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr: Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Sardar: We lost the duplicate key!!

Why Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road???
Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office....

Son: papa, 4+3 kithne hai?
Sardar: ullu ke patthe gadhe idiot naalaayak besharam tujhe kuch nahi aathaa? Jaa andhar se CALCULATOR le ke Aa..

After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch & Finally Said:
"Oye, Torch is okay"

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!
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Sardar Jee Jokes

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University finalexamination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at thequestion paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takeshis shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes histurban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watchfollow suit.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and askswhat is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," hesays, "it says here, 'answer the following questions in Brief'."

Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess what...
To avoid side effect!!!

Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath laga kar kaho ke
Sardar :yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab fir gita pe haath.

A newly wedded sardar asks his mom" How should i do it?"
MOM says :"Put ur hardest thing where she pisses." sardar puts his head in the toilet.

Wash Basin

A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?"To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "WashBasin".

A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss. Do u know
what the business was?

. . . .. . . . . . . . He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.

A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function,
suddenly all relatives beat him why?
. . .. . . . . . . . He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Srdr gets ready, wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch
regularly. A man asks why he does this.
. . . .. . . . . . . . Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
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Sardar Jee Jokes - 17

1. 8 kms a Day 

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran 8 kms a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kg 
At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. 
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor. 
"I'm 2400 kms from home." 

2. Window 

A sardar, a japanese, and a britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. 
The japanese took the radiator, the britisher took the seat, and the sardar took the door. After a while of walking the britisher asked the japanese "I'm confused, 
why did you bring the radiator?" 
The japanese responded, "If I get thirsty,I can drink the fluid." 
Next the sardar asked the britisher "Why did you bring the seat?" 
So the britisher said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the 
sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat." 
Finally the japanese asked the sardar why he had chosen the door. 
The sardar quickly responded to this question,
"Well,when I shall feel the need to get some breeze in this summer all have to do is roll down the window." 

3. Magic Lamp 

A sardar, a japanese, and a britisher were shipwrecked on a deserted island. One day they came upon an old lamp buried in the sand. As they brushed the sand from the lamp a Genie appeared and said I'll 
give each of you one wish." 
The japanese said "I wish I was home!" PUFF and he was gone! 
The britisher said "I wish I was home!" PUFF and he too was gone. 
The sardar said "Boy is it lonely here! I wish my friends were back!" 

4. Sheep & Dog 

A sardar was tired of being sardar and constantly being the subject of all those dumb sardar jokes. He finally cut his hair. He decided to take a drive through the country to celebrate his new life. 
Going past a field of sheep (he loved sheep) he stopped and asked the farmer "If i can guess how many sheep in your flock, can I have one?" 
The farmer laughed and said "Sure, Sir" 
He gazed out for a few seconds and said "There's 1,973 sheep" 
The farmer said with amazement "Your're right! Go and pick one out". On his way back to his car he was stopped by the farmer yelling "Hey Sir! If I can guess your real identity can I have my dog back?" 


5. Sardar Tiger 

Sardar Dhakaan Singh is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is inside the zoo but 
wandering freely.Zoo people requested sardar to go inside and trap the tiger in a cage.Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun. While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he 
noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep. At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right. Then cleverly dhakaal put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger runs into the left path. With a sigh of relief, he drove forward. After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. once more the road divides into two and this time our sardar is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side. After some time the roads meet again to our sardar's misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again. 
This time the road never divides and our sardar thought the tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake. The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward. 

Result :- There are Sardar Communities in Tigers too. 
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Sardar Jee Jokes - 16

1. Sardar : You cheated me.
    Shopkeeper: How ?
    Sardar : You said this is American made radio. But when I put it ON, it says All India Radio.


2. Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
    He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said "April fool. I have a pass."


3. Sardar joined new job.
    1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
    Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
    Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.


4. Sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
    Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
    Sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.


5. Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto.
    A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
    Sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.


6. Sardar : What is the name of your car?
    Lady : I forgot the name, but it starts with "T".
   Sardar : Oye Kamaal di gaddi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaari gaddi  petrol se start hoti hai.


7. American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
    Sardar: Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.

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Sardar Jee Jokes - 15


1 - Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?

Sardar : Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR


2 - Manager asked Sardar at an interview, "Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?"

Sardar replyed: P-O-S-T-B-O- X.


3 - After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?"
Wife: No! Why?

Sardar: In London a lady asked me, "are you a foreigner?"


4 - One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???

Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!


5 - Lecturer: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti

So Sardar writes, "Gandhi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanti.


6 - Interviewer: Just imagine, you're in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?

Sardar : It's simple. I will stop my imagination! !!
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Sardar Reloaded.....

1 - Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR



2 - Manager asked Sardar at an interview, "Can you spell a word that has
more than 100 letters in it?"
Sardar replyed: P-O-S-T-B-O- X.



3 - After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?"
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me, "are you a foreigner?"



4 - One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!



5 - Lecturer: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti
So Sardar writes, "Gandhi was a great man, but I don't know who is
Jayanti.



6 - Interviewer: Just imagine, you're in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar : It's simple. I will stop my imagination! !!



7. Sardar : You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: How ?
Sardar : You said this is American made radio. But when I put it ON, it says All India Radio.



8.. Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said "April fool. I have a pass."



9. Sardar joined new job.
1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.



10. Sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.



11. Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
Sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.



12. Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but it starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal di gaddi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaari gaddi
petrol se start hoti hai.



13. American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar: Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.
View More »

Sardar Jee Jokes - 14

 Suicide 

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks... takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks, "Kyon bhai ye sab kyun leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies, "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun.."

20 Rupees

Sardarji is travelling by train. He feels sleepy, so he gives the guy opposite 20 rupees to wake him up when his station comes.
This guy is a barber. He feels that for 20 rupees Sardarji deserves more. So, when Sardarji falls asleep, the barber quietly shaves off his beard. When the station arrives, he wakes up Sardarji and sends him home. Reaching home, he goes to wash his face, and suddenly screams when he sees the mirror.
Sardarni asks, "What's the matter?"
"The cheat on the train takes my 20 rupees and wakes up someone else!"

 Rubi, Moti and Sardarji

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and Sardarji were sent to the outer space. 
The ground control issues commands, "Rubi!" 
"Woof!" (barking sound ) "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" 
"Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" 
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!" 

 Train Driver

A train suddenly deviated from the tracks and ran onto the nearby fields before returning on the tracks again. The passengers were horrified at this. At the next railway station, the driver was caught and questioned. He was a sardar and explained that a man was standing on the tracks and he refused to budge. 
The authorities asked him, "Sardarji, are you mad? Just to save one person, you put so many lives in danger. You should have overrun that person." 
The sardar replied: "Exactly, that is what I was doing, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close." 

 House on Fire

Once a building caught fire and two guys and a sardar were trapped in the balcony. On the ground, fire fighters caught hold of a net and asked them to jump. 
The first one jumped but the fire fighters removed the net and he was killed. Then the other guy was asked to jump and again they removed the net too soon and he was dead. Seeing all this, the sardar was furious and said: "You keep the 
net on the ground and get away from it. I don't trust you. 

 Cellular Phone

A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?" 

 Secret Agents 

Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world? 
Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to. 

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Sardar Jee Jokes - 13

Doctor to patient: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient: Yes. A good doctor.

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Sardar built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled y?
When asked him, he said,
"Oye, that’s for those who don’t know Swimming.

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse.
I Love U sister...

Ek sardar Indian Flag lene shop mein gaya tha. Shopwale ne usse flag diya. Sardar bola: Isme aur colour dikhao!!!

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- “1 Miss Call".

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.
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Sardar Jee Jokes - 12


Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new



Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- “1 Miss Call".



Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"



Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr YOU" !!.



Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr: Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Sardar: We lost the duplicate key!!



Why Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road???
Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office....



Son: papa, 4+3 kithne hai?
Sardar: ullu ke patthe gadhe idiot naalaayak besharam tujhe kuch nahi aathaa? Jaa andhar se CALCULATOR le ke Aa..



After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch & Finally Said:
"Oye, Torch is okay"


Doctor to patient: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient: Yes. A good doctor. 
View More »

Sardar Jee Jokes - 11

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Sardar built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled y?
When asked him, he said,
"Oye, that’s for those who don’t know Swimming.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- “1 Miss Call".

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.


View More »

Sardar Jee Jokes - 10

1.  31 Years Old

Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father.
"Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent. "
Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question,
"Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar ??"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father.
Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father,
"Dad,today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was atleast twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??"
The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old.


2.  Called Again

Santa with two red ears went to see his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears. "I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang. Instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and
stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But...what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called again."

3.  Driver

Santa and Banta Singhs landed up in Bombay and got into a doubledecker. Santa somehow managed to get a bottom seat in the bus. Unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. When the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to look up Banta, found Banta in badly scared, clutching the seats in front with both hands.
Santa asked, "Arre Banta! What's going on? Why so scared?
I was enjoying my ride down there? Scared Banta replied, "Yeah, but you've got a *driver*."


4.  Clock Tower

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."


5.  Chinese

Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills the birth certificate.
"Mother: Sikh.
 Father: Sikh.
 Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" "
Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it said every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."


6.  Donkey

 Having lost his donkey Sardarji, got down to his knees and thanked God.
A passer by saw this and asked, "Your donkey is missing. What are you thanking God for?"
Sardarji replied, "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

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Sardar Jee Jokes - 9

Hand Grenade

What do you do when Sardarji throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

Hand Grenade-2 

What do you do when Sardarji throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy...he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

Retrain 

Why does Sardarji work seven days a week?
So you don't have to retrain him on Monday.

Second One 

Why can't Sardarji dial 911?
He can't find the Second 1 on the dial.

Dead Bird 

"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardarji looked skyward and asked, "Where, Where?


View More »

Sardar Jee Jokes - 8

1. Photocopy
   What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra sheet?
    He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

2. Free Punjab
   There was a meeting of all the Sardar freedom fighters. They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?" That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave... "No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would take over us and then we would become a State of USA and develop automatically."
All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd was not.
Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL...
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"

3. Small TV
    Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
    "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
    "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
     He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
    "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
    "Damn, he recognised me," he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour, new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again. "I would like to buy this TV."
    "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
     Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
     "Because that's a microwave," he replied.

4. Below 18
  Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
   Because below 18 was not allowed.

5. Sardarji's Intelligence
    How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?
    Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

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Sardar Jee Jokes - 7

1. Green TV :
   Sardarji is buying a TV.
   "Do you have colour TVs?"
   "Sure."
   "Give me a green one, please."

2. Just a second :
   Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?" "Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and hangs up.

3. Salary Expected :
   Sardarji is filling up a job application. He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED. After much thought he writes: Yes.

4. Crocodile Boots  :
    Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes, if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs, angrily exclaims: "71st and *again* barefoot!"

5. Thermos Flask  :
    Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object. 
    He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" 
    The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask." 
    The Sardar asks, "What does it do?" 
   The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." 
   The Sardar says, "I'll take it!" 
   The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos. 
   His Sardar boss sees him and asks, 
  "What is that shiny object with you?" He said, "It's a Thermos flask." 
  The boss asks, "What does it do?" 
  He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." 
  The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?" 
  The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

6. Answering Machine :
    Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home. Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

7. Photocopies :
   What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies? 
   He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.



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Sardar Jee Jokes - 6

1.Guooonn, Guooonn  :
  Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same every time. he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn." He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito falling into deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."

2. Urine Test :
   Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked," So? Are you afraid?"
First one replied,"No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."

3. Bihari-Sardar :
    A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives and he gets in. The bus is fully loaded with sardarjis. One sardarji orders Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks he's in big trouble because he knows only sardar jokes! After thinking for some time he decides to substitute all references to 'sardars' in his joke with 'Biharis'. He starts the jokes with, "There was once a Bihari..." And suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from one of the sardarjis who shouts, "Kyon be! Sab sardar mar gaye hai kya?"

4. Wrong Answer :
      Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at DEMAN CONSTRUCTION office in Amritsar. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by theDepartment manager Mr. Arvin Singh. Upon completion of the test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Santa and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to Reddy".
Santa: And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct.
This being Punjab I should get the job!"
Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question that you got wrong.
Santa: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"

5.  Road to Station :
     Sardarji praising his son who is a Civil engineer, who just laid a road near his house. "Wow! This is terrific! Look at the job he has done! The distance from my house to the railway station is the same as the railway station to my house!!!!!!!!"







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Sardar Jee Jokes - 5

Dark Room :
    Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.


Relaxing :
      One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and asked! ! ! ! the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me ! Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on his face and said "Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. "


Wash Basin :
       A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies,
"Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "Wash Basin".


Three Engines :
       Fifteen minutes into the flight from Mankuwa City to Sukhpur city, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed.. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours.But don't worry ... we still have one engine left." A sardarji passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine,we'll be up here all day!"


Detective Job :
          Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation. "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left.When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief  thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home,
his wife asked "How was the interview ?". Sardarji replied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder.




    
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Sardar Jee Jokes - 4

 1. One more Plane Crash :
     Garbachan singh was traveling from Calcutta to Bombay by a plane, There were one American, one Russian, one Pakistani and some other passengers. Suddenly something went wrong pilot alarmed that plane lost it's control and  some of the passengers have to jump out to rescue the rest of them.
Firstly the American jumped out saying "Jai America" again the condition didn't change then the Russian jumped out from the plane saying "Jai Russia". But the condition still the same.
The next is Garbachen's turn  he  hesitated for a moment and pulled out the Pakistani by saying "Jai India".


 2. A Plane journey :
    A jet ran in to some turbulent weather. To keep passengers calm, the air hostess brought out the beverage carts. 
"I'd like a soda " said the passenger in the front row. Moving along, the air hostess asked the man behind her if he would like something. "Yes I would," he replied. "Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!". 


 3. Salt Seller :
    Do you really sell that much salt? A man asks to a Sardar who is running a grocery shop stocked with thousands of boxes of salt. 
"No " says the Sardar. "I sell may be two boxes a month. To tell you the truth, I'm not a good salt seller. But the one who sell me salt-now he's a good salt seller." 


 4. Marathon Race :
    One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race. "What the guys are doing" asked the sardar. 
 " We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner. 
 "Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!" Exclaimed the Sardar 


  5. 13th Floor :
      One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor building when a man came running into his office and shouted "Santa Singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window. While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.


 6. Phone Book  :
   A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!" 
The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book." 

 7. Cows Don't Fly  :
      A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird dropped a load when it was directly over him. The Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly." 
   
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